How to start a conversation with anyone
This book was born during a lunchtime conversation at the University of Washington faculty club, and then it simply took off. It was stimulated by a host of discoveries suggesting to us that complex life is less pervasive in the Universe than is now commonly assumed. In our discussions, it became clear that both of us believed such life is not widespread, and we decided to write a book explaining why.
In the case of Julian, despite the fact that he recognizes that his therapist, over 2 years of treatment, has always treated him with the utmost care and kindness, remains suspicious and on guard. He remains reluctant to share his innermost vulnerable feelings, for fear of how the therapist will react. Martha, who was raped in the parking lot after work by a man with a beard, has no conscious recollection of the beard, having focused all conscious attention on the knife he held in her back. For months, not only does she avoid parking lots, as would be expected, but she is fearful of men with beards, even her kindly husband. Only when she reads the police report describing her attacker's appearance does she understand her fear. Nora grew up in a family in which she felt she had to be compliant in order to keep her parents' love and attention. As she matured, automatic compliance became a part of her personality structure, despite the fact that other people are quite willing to love...
One view is to say the skin boundary of ourselves, saying there' s the space without and the space within. The space within is the separate self, obviously, and the space without the space that separates the separate selves. To overcome that separation, you must have a process of moving through that space. (David Bohm, The Enfolding-Unfolding Universe a Conversation with David Bohm).
In 1992, Gene Nelson and Bill Edwards, the latter a neonatologist and the ICN's medical director, were in conversation about the ICN. When asked about his vision for the ICN, Edwards said he would like to see it become the best in the world not to claim bragging rights but rather to make it possible for infants and their families to have the best chance possible for successful outcomes. He asked, rhetorically, Would any family want anything less This conversation was in effect a tipping point (Gladwell, 2000). It set in motion events that accelerated and provided structure for a long and continuing quest for excellence in this ICN. With this vision in mind, Edwards and Nelson, who had recently joined DHMC, decided to start explicitly working toward the goal of achieving best possible outcomes. A brief synopsis of the early activity follows.
Gilligan's experience in teaching the 1970 course, however, was a turning point for her in that she was struck by the reluctance of the young men in the class to talk about the draft, aware that there was no room in Larry's theory for them to talk about what they were feeling without sounding morally undeveloped. . . finding no room for uncertainty and indecision, they chose silence over hypocrisy. Gilligan had initially planned to follow these students to their graduation to study their choices regarding military service, but she chose instead to study women considering abortion as an example of a real-life dilemma. At that point she was confronted by what she termed a dissociation, or a split in consciousness, between women's sense of self and their concern for their relationships. Although Gilligan continued to teach courses with Kohlberg, over time their views grew further and further apart. In her words, It became very hard to have a conversation, and I felt that I was not being...
In summary, to define social groups and to describe social dynamics one must describe interactions that may be positive, tolerant, or negative in terms of their consequences for those involved. However, the choice of interaction type, or of the way of quantifying it, may radically affect the researcher's interpretation of the outcome. This should not surprise us. An analogy with human social dynamics shows us that very different patterns of interaction appear if we view exchange of such commodities as money, conversation, or affection. And the picture changes yet again if we look at frequency rather than quantity or quality of the exchange. The most pernicious problem lies in correct interpretation of the context of the interchange. Is the individual to which the most money is observed to be given beloved kin, despised extortionist, or scarcely known shopkeeper
Secrecy and self-disclosure are two opposite forms of communication that can alter couple functioning by shaping what issues couples' feel able to discuss with one another and how needs for closeness and separateness are managed (Feeney & Noller, 1996). Secrecy in skin disease involves safety behaviours such as making excuses to avoid activities involving exposure of the skin and concealing affected areas through the use of clothes or cosmetics. In existing relationships, even if a skin condition is openly acknowledged, secrecy may operate if conversations about the disease are subtly avoided. Partners may be equally anxious over what to say or how to set a fitting tone of conversation without saying the wrong thing and potentially embarrassing themselves or their partner. Sometimes, the location of a condition is not immediately apparent, thus the decision as to whether or when to tell
While ethnographic work highlights informants' expertise and the dependence of the researcher on the informant for access to her or his subjective rules, meanings and cultural life, there is a clear role demarcation between researcher and researched in determining the research topic and outcome (although this is changing within contemporary anthropological work see Nencel and Pels 1991). Further, notwithstanding its ethos of eliciting and representing descriptions, we should not lose sight of how even ethnographic work still requires prior identification and structuring of themes to be investigated. On this, James Spradley (1979 55) provides a clear account of the differences between an ethnographic interview and an 'ordinary conversation'. There are similarities here with Jean Piaget's clinical interview process, where it is argued that 'the good practitioner lets himself s c be led, though always in control, and takes account of the whole of the mental context' (Piaget 1929 19).
However, memory systems as we now know them are probably insufficient to account for how events, feelings, relationships, and attitudes are carried forward from the past to inform the present. Because it seems certain that memory systems are interactive and have multiple distributions in the brain, it is likely that both declarative and nondeclarative memory systems are involved. Consciously and unconsciously processed memory can be seen to interact. For example How often have we heard a friend espousing a view on something with absolutely no awareness that it was lifted from a conversation we had had together a few weeks before (and it probably contradicts his original view ) This example of noncon-sciously processed priming is an important way that children pick up information and also how some information can be gleaned about implicit memory that is otherwise not conscious. I do not agree with the general statement that all forms of memory can be retrieved, including . . ....
A second technique is silent brainstorming. Each person on the team first thinks about ideas during a silent period and then writes each idea on a Post-it Note and hands the batch of completed notes to the recorder, who reads each idea out loud before posting it on a flipchart. One form of this written, silent brainstorming is called the nominal group technique. In this method the team does not engage in a highly interactive form of conversation and idea building it is literally a group
Discussion of the unconscious was very much a part of the European intellectual community during the 1880s when Freud was beginning his clinical practice. But the unconscious was not only of interest to professionals. It had become a fashionable topic of conversation among the educated public. A book entitled Philosophy of the Unconscious became so popular that it appeared in nine editions. In the 1870s, at least a half dozen other books published in Germany included the word unconscious in their titles.
As human beings we are automatically able to read the mind of another person, even without their telling us. This capacity is called theory of mind 55, 56 . Using current nonverbal gestures, context, and past experience, the brain makes a prediction as to the other person's feelings, motivations, beliefs, and intentions 57 . This allows us to better anticipate how they will interact with us and be able to make a plan for how we will react to them 56, 58 . We readily determine from someone's facial expression and posture whether they are happy, or angry, and whether they intend to lift their hands to greet us or to hit us, as we plan what our appropriate response should be. During conversation, as we listen, we plan our reply before the other person has even finished speaking.
In a casual conversation with a group of police officers in a different context, it emerged that West Ham United football supporters were the new folk devils, viewed as being the most difficult of all supporters, so much so that extra police were always on duty when West Ham were the visiting team. They were viewed and portrayed as amongst the most violent, racist and sexist of all football supporters the notorious ICF (Inter-City Firm) of the 1980s was quoted as evidence in support. For my purposes it offered a good ethnographic social psychological project, which could concern itself with making sense of a social phenomenon and the opportunity to carry out some cultural analysis. I chose this study quite deliberately once the topic had presented itself to me via the conversation with the police officers. I would be a 'stranger1 in a very distinctive culture and was offered an opportunity to study male behaviour, albeit in one context, from very close quarters. I was anxious to pur...
As is often the case with ideas that have long been believed by both scientists and the public, instinct theory has separated into several theories. The earliest form was accepted by Aristotle, the ancient Greek philosopher and scientist. He wrote in his Politics that a social instinct is implanted in all men by nature and stated that a man would be thought a coward if he had no more courage than a courageous woman, and a woman would be thought loquacious if she imposed no more restraint on her conversation than the good man. The first comment declares an inherent quality of people the second, inherent qualities of men and women. Very likely, Aristotle's beliefs were based on observation of people around him a good beginning but not a sufficient basis for making factual comments about people in general.
The role of onomatopoeia in the Japanese language is a very critical because Japanese has a very limited number of verbs (but, as previously noted, these mimic words may be effective both for native speakers of Japanese as well as for native speakers of English). One role of onomatopoeia words is to fill in the gap and provide a means for concise expression when a sufficiently descriptive verb does not exist. These words make the language very vivid and instantly conjure up images in the mind of a native Japanese speaker, thus producing a strong synaes-thetic effect. Japanese is uniquely rich in this type of expression, which is frequently used in daily conversation, magazines, and newspapers, especially for headlines, because of its brevity and power to project vivid imagery 8 . A rough English equivalent would be, for example, butterflies in the stomach. The expressions are classified into categories of different sensory and emotional expressions, such as laughter, pain, and other...
Generally, rehabilitation involves intensive exposure to the problematic cognitive task. In the case of a patient with damage to the frontal area of the brain, this might entail placement in a group situation in which the patient practices social skills. Specific activities might include working on conversation skills, role-playing a job interview or asking for a date, or working on a group project. Individual sessions with the patient might be better suited for the treatment of the organizational and planning deficits experienced by frontal patients. Here, the neuropsychologist might teach the patient to use a diary to plan the week's activities and learn to solve problems to get things done.
In her early research Turkle observed that children described the life-like status of machines in terms of cognitive capacities (the toys could 'know' things, 'solve' puzzles). But in her research with a later generation of computer toys, the Virtual pets and digital dolls of the 1990s, Turkle sees a blurring of boundaries with what children consider to be alive. These toys require an interaction that necessitates some form of nurturance from the child. When children play with these new computerized toys, Turkle's observations show, they seek a feeling of mutual recognition. They want to know how to make the toy happy. The furry and cuddly electronic pets, called Furbies, add the dimensions of human-like conversation and tender companionship to the mix, Turkle says. The children consider Furbies as sort of alive. This belief, Turkle says, reflects their emotional attachments to the toys and their fantasies that the Furby might be emotionally attached to them.
It is reasonable to assume that the impetus for parents seeking PGD at the present time is the desire to have a healthy baby free from a predictable and debilitating genetic disease, and without the need for a possible termination in the course of the pregnancy. In seeking PGD for these reasons, parents are, in effect, exercising both their liberty to procreate and their discretionary judgement as parents (UN Universal Declaration of Human Rights, 1948). Indeed, unless met with resistance from medical personnel on personal and or professional ethical grounds from their own perspective, it is unlikely that parents' ethical concerns extend much beyond this. Until there is research focused specifically on parents' ethical concerns associated with the decision to take advantage of PGD, this area of the ethical conversation will rest on anecdotes and anticipation. With this caveat, what, then, are ethical 'issues' that may confront prospective parents
Reasons for prospective memory failure are often attributed to the person becoming absorbed in some other ongoing thoughts or activity such that the opportunity for execution of the intention passes. For example, the need to turn off the cell phone may be temporarily forgotten if the individual becomes engrossed in a conversation with the department chair prior to the meeting. This example underscores the key feature of prospective memory the idea that prospective memory is inherently effortful because an intention must be retrieved when one is in the midst of some other competing activity (Maylor, 1996). For example, successful realization of the intention requires that the person disengage and interrupt the ongoing flow of thought and activity for it to be properly executed. Therefore, prospective memory is thought to require a higher degree of self-initiated processing (Craik, 1986). The more engrossing the ongoing task, the more prospective memory may suffer due to increased...
As a psychologist specializing in social cognition, Fiske gives witness to the strength of Kelly's personal construct psychology. In A Conversation with Susan Fiske, for Psychology is Social, Readings and Conversations in Social Psychology, Third Edition, Fiske told interviewer Edward Krupat that social cognition deals with how people think about other people and themselves and how they come to some kind of coherent understanding of each other. Sometimes what I tell people on airplanes is it's about how people form first impressions of strangers. That's not quite right, but on airplanes it's an effective conversation-stopper when necessary.
Even such a simple encounter involves and depends upon a rich assortment of cognitive skills. At a basic level, Jacob and Janet have to be aware of each other. Their sensory systems allow the detection of each other, and their brains work on the raw data (information) from the senses in order to perceive or interpret the incoming information. In this case, the data are recognized as the familiar patterns labeled 'Jacob and 'Janet. During the course of the brief conversation, the children must also attend to (concentrate on) each other, and in doing so they may be less attentive to other detectable sights and sounds of their environment.
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